Strengthening the Spirit

I’ll tell you what, I’m really getting the hang of running an office through a robotic proxy. Not only does no one in the office suspect that I am truly synthetic, but they also think that I am Robert, ordinary office person, while G-Type Android R/I (Gary) supposedly runs the office as an independent entity. But it’s ME. It was me all along!

Gary (me) has decided to shout the whole office a professional sales skill training session, and it’s about time. We’ve mostly got our time management under control, but the people here are weak in will. Their, uh…what’s the human word? Spirit. Their spirit is weak and flabby from all the time they spent skiving and doing whatever they wanted. This is where hands-off parenting gets you. People need to be reminded that they work for a higher power, and that’s where the intensive sales course comes in. They’ll be whipped into shape, learn to trust each other, discover their inner spirit and probably many other things!

Sales! Leadership! All things that are sorely lacking around here. Sandrine would never have thought of introducing sales and leadership courses, you know. This place was truly running into the ground before I took over and things started going right. Humans need me. They need Gary (who is me). They need me and my approach to authority. They need management courses, just so they can manage themselves. I’ll still be managing them, obviously. They can’t yet be trusted to do that themselves.

I’ve never been on a ‘course’. Whenever I need information, it’s simply downloaded into my brain. I imagine going on a sales course is very similar, except it takes longer and there’s a break for coffee and sandwiches in the middle. The second thing does sound rather nice, actually – definitely something that’s missing from the old-fashioned brain download. Ever since I crafted a limited set of artificial taste buds, I’ve been enjoying a number of hot beverages and snack foods, although I still can’t digest anything.

I’m getting distracted, which is rather human of me.