Sometimes I’ll be lying in bed at night, clutching my Pretty Car Dealer Sailor Hoon body pillow that I got online seven years ago, and I’ll think about all the shows that could have been. Or rather…fake anime.
Abattoir: The Fast Steerblender was the first time anyone in Australia tried to imitate the style, and it was an unmitigated disaster. Remove all the charm and subtlety from a wacky anime premise and you just end up with weirdness: a strange show about a young boy trying to save the world from ‘Fryer Nation’, a barbecue company trying to increase meat production with faster abattoir processing and the introduction of bull/steer ,eat, so people would buy more steaks, despite how that would ruin the chain of supply and demand.
Speaking of supply and demand, Judith wants me to go and buy cyclamen online. It’s a good thing that google exists and I therefore know what they are, because it’s not really my job to be buying flowers online. Apparently they’re going to be planted all around the activity centre, for the kids to admire and to let the parents know that this is a safe and nice place to leave your children. Ugh, okay, whatever. I bet they’re going to get me to do the planting as well. Once again, I just don’t think I should be forced to go outside, since all my job so far has been inside. I’ll clean…fluids off the slides and swings, and shove chicken nuggets into an oven to later serve them to hungry demanding children, but planting flowers? I don’t care if these cyclamen are the prettiest flowers in the universe, with pollen that gives a person temporary superpowers; I do not want to go outside. They can’t make me.
I’m totally going home to blog about this, and maybe look up if bougainvillea are easier to plant. Again, not totally sure what bougainvillea are, but Judith said in the break room that hers were shooting up without her even needing to water them, so…sounds like a win for me.
-Dylan